Have you become an “Accidental Monster”?

How to spot if your leadership style is at risk of crushing your team and how to make positive changes

In a previous article I talked about the journey business owners sometimes take which culminates in them becoming accidental leaders. But what happens when an accidental leader “goes bad”? And how can you recognise if that might be happening to you or your leadership team?

What is an accidental monster?

For the purposes of this article, accidental monsters are the small business owners who may have started out as accidental leaders. They hadn’t really set out deliberately on this leadership journey but nonetheless here they are. 

What makes them different from an accidental leader, is the accidental monster will often inadvertently create conditions within the business that make it really uncomfortable for their people to perform at their best.

This Health and Safety Executive report evidence showed that one of the key reasons why people take time off for work-related stress, depression and anxiety is due to “insufficient managerial challenge and a workload that is just too unwieldy”. 

In my shorthand that translates as bad boss and a heavy workload. 

The interesting thing about accidental monsters

An accidental monster might inadvertently be one of those bad bosses. What I observe in my coaching is that there's an interplay between control and confidence.

How this manifests is that, the less confident a leader feels, the more control they seek of everything around them. That often leads to a leadership style which might be considered a bit didactic or directorial, possibly even a bit of a dictator! 

You’ve probably worked with, or for, people who insist everything must go through them. The work, the decisions, the answers and the solutions. There’s little to no autonomy for their team. 

Accidental monsters might come across as fans of “tough love” when it comes to doing business. Sadly, when it comes to the way they motivate their teams, this is likely to mean more focus on the stick than the carrot. 

This need for control is often present because, underneath it all, they're feeling like any minute they are going to be found out or somebody's going to usurp their authority in some way. The only way to hold off that feeling is to dial-up the control on those around them. 

How accidental monsters affect those around them

Very often, because some folk don’t realise they’ve become an accidental monster, they just don’t appreciate the impact of things like their communication style. 

What do I mean by that?

Well, I’ve worked with a number of leaders who, in the moment, don't always understand that there can be an alternative perspective. In practice, this can mean that their preference might be communicating via email because in their view it’s quick and efficient. They’ve transmitted the message and they can move onto the next thing. 

What they haven’t considered is that the email can be misread or perhaps be seen as very curt or offhand. As a result, they generate a negative emotional response for the recipient of the email.

Alternatively, perhaps they don’t appreciate that what feels like a flurry of good ideas to them, can actually feel like a tsunami of new practices and changes to ways of working that leaves the people around them feeling overwhelmed and quite literally deluged. 

Implementing positive change

The good news is that, deep down, most people are not monsters to their core. In fact, many who find themselves in this group would be mortified to know the extent to which they negatively impact those around them. 

In my experience, coaching and mentoring is a valuable way for those accidental monsters to understand the drivers behind their default communication and leadership style and, in turn, their impact. 

At the same time, when leaders are able to dial-up their confidence in terms of what they can do, rather than focusing on what they can't, they are able to dial down their need for control. This not only helps them to manage their personal triggers and responses but also to halt the ‘damage’ they are having on their teams. 

After all, one thing we know about humans is they hate being controlled or feeling like they don't have any agency. Over time, even the most compliant workforce will end up displaying learned helplessness - individuals will stop being curious or looking for solutions, preferring the safe option of just sitting and waiting for the next instruction rather than upset their leader. 

For small businesses in particular, that discretionary ‘extra’ effort from employees is often the magic that turns an OK small business into a really successful small business. 

And who wouldn’t want more of that magic in their business?

If you’d like to find out more about working with me, why not book a free consultation via the button below.