Call it Doris if you like

I sometimes refer to conflict resolution as Doris. But why? It's not because I have an aunt named Doris who was particularly good at settling family squabbles (although wouldn't that be a great story?). The answer is both simpler and, I'd like to think, a bit smarter.

I've noticed over the years that when you mention "conflict resolution" or "mediation" to people, their eyes often glaze over faster than you can say…. There's something about these terms that makes folks want to run for the hills, or at least pretend they've suddenly gone deaf. "Mediation? Oh, sorry, I think I hear my phone ringing in the other room...” which is weird because they are holding it in their hand.

That's where Doris comes in.

One day, after watching yet another person squirm at the mention of mediation, I decided to try a little experiment. "Let's call it Doris," I said. "We're not doing mediation, we're just having a chat with Doris." And you know what? It worked.

Suddenly, the tension eased. The person relaxed. It was as if by giving this process a friendly, approachable name, I'd taken all the fear and formality out of it. Because let's face it, who's afraid of a chat with Doris? Doris sounds like someone who'd offer you a cup of tea and a biscuit, listen to your troubles, and then help you sort them out with a healthy dose of common sense and maybe a cheeky wink. Doris doesn't judge. Doris doesn't take sides. Doris just wants to help you work things out.

And isn't that exactly what good conflict resolution should be?

By calling it Doris, we strip away all the intimidating legal-sounding jargon and get to the heart of what conflict resolution really is – a good conversation. It’s a chance to air grievances, to listen and be heard, appreciate other perspectives/points of view and to work together towards a solution.

So the next time you're facing a workplace conflict and someone suggests mediation, don't panic. Just remember, it's not some scary formal process - it's just a chat with Doris. And Doris is here to help.

Of course, if Doris doesn't float your boat, feel free to give it another name. Call it Frank, or Susan, or Pickle for all I care. The important thing is to make the process feel accessible and non-threatening. Actually.  Scrap that.  The most important thing is do something about the bloody conflict. If you’ve hung out with me before, you will have heard me say that the only thing that’s get better left alone to age is fine wine!

Because at the end of the day, that's what good conflict resolution is all about. It's about creating a safe, comfortable space where people can have those difficult conversations and work towards resolution.

So, fancy a chat with Doris? Or whatever you'd like to call it? Remember, addressing conflicts early is like nipping a cold in the bud - a bit unpleasant at first, but it saves you a world of trouble down the line.

And if you're still not sure? Well, Doris (aka yours truly) is always here for a chat. We might even solve world peace over a cuppa. Stranger things have happened!