Are you a Leaky Leader?
And how to make changes for the good of you, your team and your business.
Many years ago when I was serving aboard HMS Illustrious, a Chief in my team commented, “I can tell your mood by the way you walk through the office”.
In a hierarchical organisation like the Royal Navy, making a comment like that to a senior officer takes a certain level of confidence (and some might say courage).
But, decades later, I can still recall that exchange with absolute clarity.
Why?
Because it hit a nerve. It highlighted the fact that, despite what I thought I was conveying through my behaviour and body language, the perception by my team was actually quite different. And not in a good way!
In fact, I can honestly say that I was horrified at how ‘leaky’ I was as a leader and how that affected the people around me, including how approachable I was. Instead of being perceived as a strong and approachable leader, I was viewed as grumpy and unapproachable. And that didn’t bode well for maintaining a high performing team.
If I bumped into that Chief now I would tell him how glad I am that he had the courage to tell me, and thank him for the impact his words have had on the rest of my life.
As a result of his words, I consciously took steps to explain myself to my team and let them know when maybe I just hadn’t had a coffee or needed 10 minutes to prepare myself for the day ahead. In other words, letting them know that, “it’s not you, it’s me”.
The trouble with Leaky Leaders
Leaky leaders are leaders who unwittingly pass on their own negative feelings, whether that be through illness or motivation or stress or under-confidence. It’s perfectly normal that leaders won’t always be on top form, but unfortunately, in order to inspire teams, you can't always transmit that. It can make leadership a lonely place - but that’s an article for another time.
When leaders leak, their teams will be on the receiving end of negative behaviours such as micro-management, the need for excessive control, or by having to manage the crises that these leaders often leave in their wake - take a look at the current leaders of our two main political parties for examples of this.
It can be very hard to control our own leakage. The more emotionally intelligent we are, the more able we are to know and manage our own feelings and subsequently, know and manage the feelings of others. Helpful, positive relationships are productive relationships that in turn impact the productivity of the whole organisation.
How to prevent leakages from sinking your ship
We don't always get the luxury of working with people who are just like us and our role as leaders is to get the best out of everyone, not just those that we resonate easily with. To do so, we must manage our own emotions and our own feelings.
Emotional intelligence is critical in order to stop your own leakage so that you don't permeate or affect the moods of others, but more importantly, so that you remain attentive to the needs of the people around you and to prevent a catastrophic breakup or termination of relationships with, or within, your team.
The cost of leaky leadership
According to HSE data published November 2020, insufficient support is the second most common reason for people taking time off work due to stress, anxiety or depression. What’s more 26% of those taking time off work due to stress, anxiety or depression cited interpersonal relationships as the cause.
Leaky leadership costs businesses dearly as a result of damaged relationships. It can cost up to 30% of an individual's salary by the time you add on the lack of productivity, the time lost for individuals' performance or the time lost in recruiting a new person, not to mention the costs of recruitment itself, whether that's through the interview process or the use of external recruiters. And nobody walks away feeling good after a catastrophic breakdown in communication or a failed relationship between individuals.
Very often our ability, or indeed our inability, to know and manage our own emotions can be down to our psychology
Are we too stressed and we don't have time to think about what's going on for us and the other person?
Are we struggling with our confidence?
Are we assuming motivations and perhaps Machiavellian aspirations in the other party that aren't actually true?
The concept here about perception being projection is extremely powerful as if we assume the other person is behaving in a malevolent way, then very often we will read their behaviour as such. A lack of communication is likely to compound this perception.
Leadership and performance psychology
When it comes to the psychology of leadership or the psychology of performance as a leader, it can't be taught; this is something that only coaching can bring about.
By developing your self-realisation of how you behave under stress, how your confidence or lack of confidence makes you behave, and how people, therefore, receive your leadership as a result of this, you learn how to consciously adapt to those around you.
This is what makes coaching so powerful.
As a coach, my two main responsibilities are to raise awareness and invite people to take responsibility to do something differently as a result. This cannot be done in a training room - it must come from within you.
If you’d like to find out more about working with me, please book a free consultation via the button below.
